What I Won't Miss About America

The other day I wrote about some of the things I'll miss when we leave America. Well, now it's time to turn the tables with a list of the things I won't miss. That's only fair, right? (NB: This is the part where the locals get angry.)

At the top of my list is UNC fans. See, I've lived in three countries and visited over 20, and in that time I've followed sports right across the globe. But I have to say that I've never met more unpleasant people than UNC fans (and that includes Arsenal supporters and the Barmy Army). Some of them are ok. Most of them are not. Three in particular are just plain awful. I will not miss them.

I'm also not going to miss Raleigh. That's right. Not at all, not in the slightest, not even for a second. Why? Well it has no river, no harbor, no lake, no beach, no water, no nothing, and — so far as I can tell — there's no real point in it being here. Sorry friends, but I will not miss Raleigh.

I'm also not going to miss sweaty summers, freezing winters (with no snow), American 'football', baseball, failing credit checks, tipping, being constantly misunderstood because of my 'accent', having the same conversation every day (yes I'm from Australia and yes I'm sure you've always wanted to go there but haven't gotten round to it), trying to stay healthy without health insurance, driving on the wrong side of the road, drivers who don't know how to use a roundabout, drivers who refuse to use a turn signal, living out of a suitcase, living inside a shoebox, sleeping on a mattress on the floor, living two hours from the 'beach', getting calls every week from people who think they're calling Park Boat Company (check the area code first people), converting fahrenheit to celsius, writing the date back to front, getting screwed regularly by AT&T and not being able to watch the rugby or the cricket.

No, I will not miss those things.

Comments

[Joe]

You should have said something about water sooner, we have it, just like to keep it well-hidden for some reason. Granted it's not Pacific-Ocean caliber, but it is wet.

[Lachlan Payne]

I would like to add bagging your own groceries to the list.